Regarding my previous post about choosing - I am still having a hard time letting that go. Writing that certainly helped, but not as much as I'd hoped. I do realize that some people are meant to be a part of your life for a short period of time and you take what you learn from them and move on and blah blah blah. What I have learned from these people (this person in particular) is probably not a great lesson. Or maybe it is, just a difficult one. Don't waste your time trying to save people who deep down don't really want to be saved. I read something that has stuck with me (the funny thing about this quote is that it is from T is for Trespass by Sue Grafton, hardly the stuff of deep thinking):
In my experience, the urge to rescue generates aggravation for the poor would-be heroine without any discernible effect on the person in need of help. You can't save others from themselves because those who make a perpetual muddle of their lives don't appreciate your interfering with the drama they've created. They want your poor-sweet-baby sympathy, but they don't want to change. This is a truth I never seem to learn.
It's time to learn that. Time to move on. I am sad for what was, not for what is. I don't even think I am mourning what could be. That is not a life I would choose for myself so why would I choose to have people like that around me? People move on and change. This time it is ME, and it's a good thing. So, it's at rest now, hopefully for good. A new journey begins in December.