Hey Jackass

Yeah you, driving the Mercedes Benz. It's fucking winter here and the roads are icy. It's too cold for salt to work even if we lived in a city where salt was used. I know that you must be important to drive such a fancy car so therefore you must have business that needs to be dealt with RIGHT NOW as you talk on your cell phone and drive inattentively. I really don't know what you are doing in this part of town anyway. If you park that car at Cub for too long, it is likely to get stripped in under ten minutes. Or better yet, stolen. But I digress. I have a child in the back of my car and I just want some goddamn groceries. I would rather not be out today seeing as it is -500 degrees out yet again, but if my kid doesn't have goldfish there will be hell to pay. So could you get off the fucking phone until you reach the parking lot and quit following 1/4 inch behind me? Because you must be an idiot. If you slam into my car that a generous blue book estimate has at $2500 with your $70,000 car wearing an Armani suit and coat, I think you will likely be fucked. And you're lucky that my husband wasn't in the car because he would have beat you to death in the parking lot for jeopardizing his family anyway.

That is all.